Vacation
by childofglass
Summary: Hiashi is stressed out, so he takes his daughters and Neji on a vacation. Chapter 2:Hinata's a wimp, Hanabi is going insane, and Neji is just...Neji.
1. Poor Hiashi

**(I don't own Naruto!)**

"Get up Hanabi!" Hiashi sighed. Hanabi's battle style wasn't nearly as good as it usually was today. She was tripping, falling, and just plain getting distracted.

"Focus!" She got up, tripped again, and hit the floor for the umpteenth time. Unfortunately, she just randomly happened to be holding a kunai at that particular moment...and Hiashi's foot was just..there.

"YAHHHHHHH!"

"Hinata did it!"

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"Hinata, let one of the servants go!"

"It's...alright father. I'd be happy to go..." With that, Hinata turned and ran out the door before Hiashi could stop her. When she heard that her father had been stabbed through the foot, she had offered to go out and get medical supplies. She made it back just fine, of course. Unfortunately, the authoress didn't feel like making Hiashi's life easier at that moment. Hinata passed the supplies off to a servant and watched as he began to bandage the Hyuuga leader's foot. When he was finished, she walked up to him.

"Father..."

"What?"

"I'm...dating Aburame Shino!"

Hiashi had a heart attack.

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Now we find poor Hiashi lying in a hospital bed, missing some toes and freshly recovered from the attack. Then guess who comes in?

"Please, don't be my daughters..."

Neji.

"Thank God..." Hiashi muttered. Certainly, Neji could bring some sanity back to his day!

"Hello." He stated plainly. Hiashi nodded to him.

"Neji." Neji spoke again.

"I came by to see how you were doing..." Hiashi stared in horror as Neji glared out the corner of his eye. Actually, Hinata had made him come there. Some sort of "peace gesture."

"Well, goodbye." He turned and began to walk away. Then he stopped and turned back towards his uncle.

"Oh. Father says hi." Without warning, Hizashi appeared out of thin air next to his son.

"Hi." He waved at his brother. Hiashi stared.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Inner Hiashi—Note to self: Lock children in their rooms, throw that Aburame boy out a window, and call an exorcist.)

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In other words, Hyuuga Hiashi is a very stressed man.

"I have an announcement."

In between business affairs, training, being head of one of the most powerful families in the Leaf Village, and dealing with abuse from the authoress, he doesn't have a lot of time to relax.

"Due to circumstances beyond my control..."

Oh sure, sitting and breathing have their perks, but after a while, you just want something more.

"I've decided that we're going on..."

Which is exactly why he gathered Hinata, Hanabi, and Neji together after getting out of the hospital's mental ward. But it was true! His dead brother really said 'Hi' and waved to him!

"..Vacation."

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**This is actually my first fanfic...be nice!**

**Poor Hiashi! I just abuse him, don't I? Hah...and on a random note, I'm still trying to imagine Hiashi throwing Shino out a window...**

**R&R!**


	2. Hanami and dirty socks, oh my!

**People reviewed! And didn't threaten to hunt me down and kill me in the dead of night! Thank you so much! I feel happy now...**

**-Tosses cookies to her reviewers-**

**And I'm apologizing to Hinata fans (including myself, considering I am one...) in advance for this...**

"**_Hanami speaking_"**

'Thinking'

"Normal speaking"

**And I still don't own Naruto. -Falls to her knees screaming- WHHHYYYYY?!**

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(This particular scene finds Hiashi, his daughters, and Neji riding along a peaceful road...in what, I don't know...)

"_**Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now?"** _Hyuuga Hanabi's eye began to twitch.

'Go away Hanami...'

You see, there's something most people don't realize about Hanabi...and it calls itself Hanami. Hanami is the younger Hyuuga's alter-ego who sits on her shoulder. Day in, day out, Hanami is there...watching every little thing that goes on and commenting on it. Usually, Hanabi can just ignore it. However, today is not usually.

"**_Are we there NOW?_" **Hanabi growled.

"No! Now shut up and quit asking me! Huh?" She looked up. Her family (well, just Hinata and Neji. Hiashi had fallen asleep and was snoring rather loudly...) was staring at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Hanabi-sama..." Neji started.

"A...re you alright, sister?" Hanabi twitched slightly, giving Hinata the most sincere fake grin she could manage. The poor girl jumped up and sat with Neji, seeing as this particular expression looked more psychotic than reassuring.

"Just fine."

Hinata backed away to her corner and started to sing some crazy little song about faeries.

"**_Your sister's a wimp..._"**

'I know...'

Hanabi sighed, put her chin in her hand, and pressed her face against the window. This was going to be a long trip...

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**Three hours later...**

"**_AHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!_"** Hanami crammed her hands over her ears.

"SHUTUP!" Hanabi. Neji banged his head against his window.

"Are you alright, nii-san?" He turned and glared at Hinata.

"Hanabi is going insane, you're a horrible singer, and Lord Hiashi **WON'T-STOP-FUCKING-SNORING! What does it look like to you?!**" He stared back towards his uncle, who was slouched over in his seat, snoring like a chainsaw. A small trail of saliva was dripping down his chin. "Ew. Any ideas to shut him up?" The youngest Hyuuga glanced from Hiashi to their suitcases and then back to Hiashi.

"Maaayyybbbeee..." She threw her head back and let out an evil cackle. Lightning flashed in the window behind her, lighting the most psychotic of her features. Never mind the fact there wasn't a cloud in the sky that day...

"N-Neji nii-san, we're all going to die, aren't we..?"

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"H-Hanabi, I d-don't think t-this is a good idea..."

"Shut up, Hinata! You have no say in life!" Hanabi yelled, holding the disgusting gray mass at arm's length. The sisters clamped their fingers over their noses as Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Hanabi-sama, why are we using **my** socks?"

"Because ours are actually clean!"

"**Since when do ninjas wear socks...or closed toed shoes for that matter...?"**

"Since just now." Raising it above her head, she brought the dirty sock down...and stuffed it straight into Hiashi's mouth. Neji made a face as she took the other sock and tied it around his head, holding the first sock in place.

"Sister, you do realize Father is going to kill us later...?"

"**Oh! I want** **to watch!**"

"Nobody cares about you!" Hinata burst into tears.

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**This, people, is what happens when you give me chocolate chip waffles and put me in front of a computer. Yay, waffles...**

**Here's a scene from chapter three:**

Hiashi scanned over the paper, his curious expression quickly turning to one of horror and humiliation.

_'My dearest TenTen...Ten...Ten...Tena...Eleven...forty-nine,_

_When I'm with you, my heart soars like 1,000 birds flying free. You are the apple of my eye, my sanity. The sunshine in my day. When I'm with you, even Lee and Gai seem less gay. Oh, even Heaven itself pales in the wake of your face. Be with me my love, until the end of days._

_Yours forever, _

_Neji.'_

The Hyuuga leader shook his head, put the paper down, and promptly fainted.

**Hehehehe, I updated! Shocking! **

**R&R and you may be eligible to win...the entire Akatsukis' underwear!**

**Now if you'll excuse me, I must run screaming like a little girl from the guys in the nail polish...**


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